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To Doubt or Not to Doubt:
That is the Question!

One of the pivotal Easter stories that was shared last week in many congregations was that of “Doubting Thomas.” I have a confession to make. For years, I secretly identified with Thomas. As a teenager and young adult, I believed that as a good Christian or person of faith, I was expected to believe doctrine, scripture or creedal beliefs without question. It lived in that same realm as when my dad would tell me to do mundane things like, “Go clean up your room,” and I would ask, “Why?” and his response was, “Because I told you to.”

Whether it was a Sunday School teacher, a parent or a youth leader – Blind Faith was held up as a good thing. Secretly, I wondered about things like Jesus walking on water, or the Red Sea parting. I was fortunate that I always experienced a small still voice within, that for me, was the loving presence of God. But even so, I always yearned for that large booming voice of God, answering my prayers from the mountain top, or that bolt of lightning on command, to affirm that I needed to rethink Plan A.

As a young adult in my early 30’s I had the opportunity to be part of a Lay Supervision Team. Back in those days candidates for ministry did 4-month internships; often in small rural congregations during the summer months. The team was gathered on a sundeck discussing all things theological when the topic of Mary came up. The student minister looked at me with total disbelief and asked, “You don’t actually think Mary was a virgin, do you?”

The truth was, I had never really thought about it. I mean, that’s what it said in the Apostle’s Creed, didn’t it? To believe anything else would be Blasphemy, right? I was so lucky to have my faith come of age in a time when Progressive Theologians such as Borg, Crossan, Wink and Sponge were exploring what it meant to be a person of faith when we didn’t accept scripture as literal or Church Doctrine as absolute truth.

It was in this time of questioning, exploring and challenging that I developed a mature faith and deep abiding love of Christ. It was an exciting time – a neighbouring church even had a study group that they called the “Doubter’s Club.”

Over the years, I have come to appreciate that Blind Faith or Blind Rejection of Faith is rather flat – it doesn’t leave room to change or to grow. But when we question, we are in a deep relationship with Creator, Christ and Spirit. And it is the depth of that relationship and ongoing conversation that allows the Holy Mystery, however you might name it, to attach to our heart and become part of who we are. For me, the richness of that relationship is what allows me to trust that small still voice that dwells within and experience the love of God.

So, for me and Thomas, doubt is a good thing.

May your questioning and doubting lead you also to a place of trust and love with the Risen Christ.

Amen!