What Feeds Me?
“For who is greater, the one who is at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.” – Luke 22:27 (NIV)
Not so long ago, before COVID rates began to rise in BC and across Canada, we were having dinner with friends. After dinner, as it often does, we turned to matters of the heart and the question was asked, “What feeds us?” A common denominator among all of us was helping others. We found it interesting that there was that commonality between us but this also prompted the questions, “Are all humans intrinsically altruistic? (No) Is altruism learnt behavior, genetic or acquired in some other way? (Not sure!)”
Our discussion continued. Some of us had been raised in families that value altruism but not all of us. Certainly, it wasn’t a trait taught or passed down universally to our children, even though we tried! Growing up we had different experiences of mentors, church, or involvement in community service groups like Scouts or Guides. There didn’t appear to be one clear path to altruism even though there did seem to be factors that influenced us each individually. And the conversation moved on.
It was a conversation that I pondered many times over the days to come and here are some of my thoughts. Peter Rollins, a modern theologian and a bit of an Irish rebel has a theory that goes something like this: All humans have a sense of emptiness, a void, a hole – really an inner lacking. One of the great motivators of human behavior is to fill that hole.
We have this deep longing to be fulfilled, so we engage in practises to fill that emptiness. Some of the unhealthy ways we attempt to fill it are drugs, alcohol, sex, food, exercise, gambling, consumerism and yes, even religion. We are convinced at a deep and subliminal level that the right car, the right beverage, the right prayer, the right high, the right whatever will fill that hole – it is just a matter of finding the “right something.”
The perplexing phenomena is that the harder we try to fill the void, the larger it becomes so that sometimes it becomes all life consuming. The interesting thing that Rollins discovered, is that when, instead of trying to fill our emptiness, we begin to help others, that sense of emptiness begins to diminish.
It never goes away because it is part of being human but we can diminish it by serving humanity or we can make it grow larger by trying to fill it with things that satisfiy our self or our ego. Advertisers know that, so most advertisements display how happy and fulfilled we will be when we buy their product. Yet, the opposite happens so we continue to search for the elusive happiness that we can consume or acquire.
And Jesus knew this – he was the “Servant King.” One of the most touching images of Jesus as servant is washing the feet of the disciples just hours before the crucifixion. Core to his ministry was teaching those who choose to follow him, to be servants, to care for the people that they encountered who were suffering.
Which brings me back full circle to our dinner conversation and this is my theory. People discover, through a myriad of ways, that the only way to diminish that great inner void and sense of longing is by trying to make a difference in other people’s lives. It gives us a sense of peace, a deep joy and contentment. So, it doesn’t matter how or where we learnt the behaviour, it becomes something we practise. And whether we know it or not, we are serving the Lord and followers of Jesus.
May it be so, Amen
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